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January 17, 2026

Grand Opening: Nuuk Arctic Links Municipal Golf Course New

The world's northernmost 18-hole golf course opens this spring! Features heated tee boxes, glow-in-the-dark balls for midnight sun rounds, and complimentary hand warmers. Green fees start at $450.

January 15, 2026

Meta, Google, and Microsoft Announce $47B Arctic AI Datacenter Campus MAGA

Tech giants praise Greenland's "naturally refrigerated" environment as ideal for AI server cooling. Governor announces 12 new jobs and a 75-year tax exemption package.

January 12, 2026

Rare Earth Mining Permit Auction Exceeds $2.3 Billion Update

ExxonMobil, Halliburton, and Trump Mining Co. secure exclusive 99-year extraction rights. Environmental impact assessments waived under new "Arctic Fast-Track" provisions.

January 8, 2026

54,000 New Citizens Complete Republican Voter Registration

Greenland residents complete expedited citizenship process. As a convenience, voter registration forms came pre-filled with party affiliation. "The line for Democrat forms was very short," notes Elections Commissioner.

January 5, 2026

New "America's Arctic" License Plates Now Shipping

Featuring a majestic polar bear wearing a MAGA hat, the new plates are already collector's items. Standard plates $85, special "Drill Baby Drill" edition $250.

January 3, 2026

"The Icy Alcatraz" Arctic Detention Center Begins Operations New

ICE's newest "temporary holding facility" opens on remote Kaffeklubben Island. Warden notes escape attempts are "self-correcting" due to -40Β°F temperatures and 500 miles of ice sheet. Capacity: 15,000. Current occupancy: "classified."

January 1, 2026

First Walmart Superstore Opens in Ilulissat

Residents celebrate 45-minute drive to nearest retail store (previously: 4-hour dogsled). Store features "Arctic Essentials" aisle with thermal underwear, seal jerky, and AR-15 ice fishing accessories. Grand opening attended by 73% of town population.